Last week I went Halloween shopping. I stopped to notice the beautiful Christmas trees and Santa decorations while on my way to the Halloween aisle. Needless to say, there was more Christmas décor than Halloween décor.
The marketing executives at the stores curtail to our forward thinking minds, which always seem to jump to the next season or holiday.
Similarly, my mind is constantly plagued with the future, or the past, or both.
Thoughts like “Did I spend enough time with baby Danny today?” pop in my head while I lay in bed evaluating myself, trying to juggle being a teacher and a mother. The next thought as I lay in bed sounds something like “What elementary school are we going to send Danny to?” or “How are we going to pay for his college?”
Then, I remind myself that he is 9 months old. And we have plenty of time to figure out his future education and academic scholarships that he will earn (hopefully).
My mind loves to play tennis; the thoughts go back and forth and around again as I lay awake.
Today’s second reading focuses on living in the present moment and trusting in God’s divine providence to give us what we need, when we need it, if only we surrender to God’s will and not to our own:
“My God will fully supply whatever you need,
in accord with his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
To our God and Father, glory forever and ever” Phil 4:12, 19-20.
Jesus is ONLY in the present moment. Therefore, when I jump to the past, He is not there. When I jump to the future, He is not there either. No wonder why I feel so much darkness when I do this! He only gives us what we need today, and only today. His presence is our present.
I have realized that choosing to live in the present moment is the only way that I am going to fulfill God’s will. And with it, the purpose for my life.
As we are approaching Danny’s first birthday, I see that time is going by fast enough without me having to rush to the future. Or his college graduation for that matter.
As I gaze out the window, with present focus attention, I observe the changing of the leaves and the weather getting chillier.
I am aware of the passing of summer, and fall, which has made its way gracefully upon us. Life is a delicate dance of letting go of the past and patiently awaiting the future, and embracing Jesus every step of the present moment.